Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween!

3rd Grade Trying to help.

It's Halloween time here in Bulgaria. Now at home, I generally don't do much for Halloween. I mean I don't even really like it. It's always so hard to come up with a costume idea that is cute yet easy. At school we don't really celebrate it. I mean it's middle school so they can't dress up at school and they are too old for the games that they played in elementary school. Some go trick-or-treating, but they are at the age where it's too old.

But here, Halloween in new. It's a novel idea and everyone loves it! My 6th graders had a great time playing BINGO and "Wrap the Mummy" with toilet paper. They made masks and LOVED the candy.

My 3rd graders today were even more excited. They wore their own costumes and we made witch's hats. The hats were then turned upside to catch candy.

Even my counterpart got in the mood. It's funny because I can be as corny and clownish as the next elementary teacher. But to see my generally reserved counterpart put on a mask, then put on a witch's hat and "fly" around the room on her broom, it was pretty impressive. The kids liked it too.

So now I have one more grade to go: 7th. I'm sure they will be "too cool" to really get into the games or wearing the masks they decorated the other day. But who knows? Maybe they will surprise me.

Happy Halloween to all you ghosts and gobblins!

5 Months-- Already?

These are from a bar in Sophia. It's totally lit by candles. Beautiful.

So I've been here 5 months. Here's what I've learned so far:

1. When giving flowers, give an odd number. Even numbers of flowers are for the dead.

2. Never kiss in a doorway. It's bad luck.

3. When you get scared blow down your shirt. Not sure why. Maybe cool the nerves?

4. Never make a plan for anything. You can have a vague idea of what you want to happen, but when it doesn't you're not disappointed.

5. The afternoon почивка (nap, break,rest) is the best thing ever. Everyone should try it.

6. Traveling is an all day experience, even if you are only going a few hundred miles. I recently went to visit a friend and took: 2 busses, a train, a trolley and a taxi.

7. Timing is everything. But don't plan and always have a backup.

8. I can make a MEAN chicken nugget.

9. Being cold in the U.S is NOT the same as being cold in Bulgaria.

10. Things will happen in due time.

11. Bulgarian men are hard to understand.

12. When in doubt, dance it out.

13. Education is not the same everywhere, but children are.

14. Bulgaria let's me be myself without judgment.

15. I still HATE сирене and кашкавал. (Bulgarian cheese)

It's been a crazy, emotional, and exciting journey so far. I can't believe I'm almost 1/4 of the way done. The B24's just left last week and I miss them. I didn't know many of them, but the idea of them is missed. I am at the beginning and they are at the end. I wonder how they feel. Is it weird to think about going back to the Untied States? As much a I miss home sometimes, I'm not sure I could go back right now. I'm just getting used to it here and in 2 years, after I've invested my life, my love, my whole being, will I be able to leave? Those who know me, know that I don't like change and when I do decide on something, it's hard to let go. But, I'm only 5 months in. I am more worried now about making lasting relationships with the people here and with the education of the children. And what a challenge.

I've been thinking about my life before Bulgaria and how it's prepared me for being here.

Here's what has helped.

1. Living with my parents saved my sanity living with my baba and now my landlord and her family. Always being watched and questioned. Patience. I have A LOT!

2. Listening and helping friends--- self explanatory

3. Having my friend Christine tell me to talk softer--- I am never the LOUD American in a group.

4. Working with Special Education students. They need patience and life lessons. So do the children here. Many lesson plans I used back home with them are working here.

5. Cheryl Anderson. Love her and her style of teaching. I try daily to invoke her presence in my classroom. She could reform the WHOLE Bulgarian educational system if she were here.

6. My younger self. I've reconnected with her and she's fun. Watch out kids. Dancing and singing in the classroom is coming soon.

7. My smile still works. People respond to smiles and I am always smiling.

So to wrap up 5 months; I'm still happy with my decision and have made so many new friends and new experiences. I am excited to see what the next 5 will bring.

So Far

First Day of School: Children come on September 15th to bring flowers for their teacher and get their books. The older students also put on a program and sing for the new incoming Kindergardeners. It's a sweet day. Just look at these precious faces.

It's been a busy month. School started and though it's been fun, it has also been challenging. But the thing is, it's not much different than at home. Students are always trying to push the boundaries, show off for each other and get away with doing as little as possible. It's now up to me to figure out how to keep their attention while making sure they learn something. All while trying to keep myself motivated and improve my Bulgarian.

No wonder I got sick.

The weather is changing. It's chilly in the mornings and by lunch, the sun can be almost hot. As I traveled this weekend, I saw trees beginning to change. I can't wait to watch summer turn into fall into winter.

These pretty pears were enjoying the sun in friend's kitchen.

I also ran a 5k in Koynare, Bulgaria. The volunteers there asked for Volunteer participants. The race has been happening for many years. It was fun to be a part of it. We added a more relaxed, less "race" feel to the day. I think everyone enjoyed watching us run. We posed for pictures after. What a fun thing to say I did. It was also a good opportunity to get myself back into a running mindset. Now that the weather is cooler I am excited to run more. I've done a little, and the local Babas like to watch. Sometimes I get a "bravo" as I run by. It's cute.

So lastly, on a more pensive note, I've been wondering why I'm here. I am trying to be in every moment, but it's hard. I often project ahead to what will be happening, or what I want to be happening. I read other's blogs and think that I'm not doing enough. But then, what is too little, enough or too much. I try daily to use more Bulgarian, to say "Hello" to at least one more person than I did yesterday, and to plan a productive lesson for my students. Is that enough?

Enough for this post.

Why Do You Blog?

So, I've been reading a lot of different blogs lately, and with the overcast day and emotions running high, I've decided to post my journal from today.

Why do you blog?

Is it to say something in the privacy and anonymity of a bubble? Or to give a detailed and itemized description of what you ate? To keep your family apprised on your adventures and goings on? Or is it a venue to give the world your view of the political shortcoming of a country? Maybe you blog when you don’t know what to say in the real world. Maybe when confronted with real life, you become overwhelmed and unable to properly embrace your feeling and ideas. It becomes easier to be an observer who never has to define or defend a single thought, value or ideal. It’s easy to take a back seat to life. To watch the world around you go by, never offering an insight or make a personal connection. The problem then becomes a question. Who are you? Or “How can you navigate life through words kept to yourself?” “What kind of personal connections can you make when you are the one sitting alone waiting for others to come to you?”

Sometimes writing is good for the soul. You can describe things and feel things on a different level. The stork chattering to its mate or the e.e. cummings like view on a balcony can only be described in words. It makes sense. But sometimes you need to use those words. Hiding won’t work. You think you don’t have to worry about what people consider important or how your ideas and feelings will affect them. But the sad thing is that in hiding you are underestimating the company you keep. You could be the one to inspire or transform, but instead you are play acting; showing the world one face and writing the world another.

It becomes difficult to tell the difference. What happens when you can’t speak the convictions of your soul? What do you become? A dreamer? Maybe you become someone who can’t take a man at his word. Maybe when a man says he’s bad, he is. Sometimes people are not hiding behind words, sometimes they are speaking the truth and it takes practice to hear it.

So the answer is to speak. Be courageous. Only by talking can we be heard. Writing about it later can’t change things now. Don’t use others’ words as your own. Don’t use others’ experiences as yours. Be in the moment. Don’t let your song be under your breath. You want a mate, a friend, a relationship? Then “be”.

Is this being too sentimental? We feel. Sometimes not all at once. Sometimes in our quietest moments we feel the most. Sometimes we are taught by experiences that feeling outwardly will get us hurt, so we show only a little at a time. But if we only feel inwardly, we won’t get what we want outwardly. And though we want someone to “get” us, to really understand our innermost feelings, we must start by saying. We must be vulnerable not only in our quietest moments, but in the loudest ones too. Only when we allow ourselves to shine through, can we have the kind of relationships we are inwardly hoping for.

This is what I hope my blog is. This and a description of the food I ate, my thoughts about being in a country very different than my own, my adventures and searches to find the perfect pair of shoes, because that’s who I am.

Love for Donkeys

So, when I left my village a few weeks ago and came here I wondered if I'd miss the country life. At first it was quiet and peaceful. I found myself sleeping later, wondering around my apartment in the quiet wondering what was missing. Then it hit me. Where are the animals?

Now, I come from the city via the suburbs of Minneapolis. The only animals one might hear are some squirrels scratching at the window screen, a random dog in the yard which is silenced by an owner's harsh word, and on occasion a domestic argument. But here, I lived at the very end of town. I had chickens, turkeys, 2 dogs, and a goat. The neighbors had goats, horses, cows, chickens, pigeons, and various dogs and cats. There was ALWAYS noise. If not from barnyard animals, then from the plethora of children in the neighborhood yelling and playing all day and all night.

I woke every morning to my rooster. It even came with a snooze alarm. I had a 4:30 wake up call, followed by a 5:30, 6:00 and 6:30 snooze button. On the way to the bathroom I'd pass my rooster and his lovely lady friend, a plump turkey who idolized him, following him around all day long. They would follow me to the "bathroom" and stand guard as I did my business and said,"Good Morning" to the neighbor's goat who liked to eat next to my outhouse.

On the way to school I pass the cow calves chained to the corner and my donkey who oversaw my whole neighborhood. To give directions I would say "Walk down this road until you come to my donkey and turn right." My sisters are probably laughing because they are the animal lovers, rescuing cats, dogs, horses; anything that might need love. They are used to the smell of animal feces on the road and the ability to side step poop while walking. I on the other hand have had my head down for 2 months making sure I didn't ruin my shoes.

So here, in my new place, I began to miss the noise. Until..... one day not too long after I moved in.........I heard it. The complaining braying of a donkey. Looking out my window I discovered not one, but 2! And each stood guard on the corners of my street. Now I can say again, "Go to the end of the street, turn right at the donkey." They are the guardians of my neighborhood.

I am home.

I'm Home

I'm on day 5 of living in my new home in Bulgaria. And although I LOVE my new place, I am feeling a little lonely. I am in a place where there were 6 volunteers for the last 11 weeks, and we were at a site 3 miles away. We were always here. We met up,shopped, drank, and hung out. Now I go to these places and expect to see someone I know sauntering down the street, knowing they will stop for a chat and maybe a beer. But there they are not here. Don't get me wrong. I am happy here. I have a great teaching counterpart and 2 B-25 volunteers here. I also have 2 B-26 friends of mine super close too, but the day to day contact I want with people is hard to get used to.

This transition we've been on has been challenging. Just when we get settled in one place and with one set of expectations, it's over and we have to adjust once again. I know that I can wait it out. In a few weeks I will be active and busy, but today, I have to make a plan to leave my apartment.

On a positive note, I went to Vratsa yesterday to get my identification card. Lots of volunteers said that it was a hassle. They waited in line and were told to come back multiple times. My counterpart, Sveti, and I walked right into the immigration office, filled out the paperwork, and when I went to pay the 63 leva, the woman said that they don't charge volunteers. Super easy and nice. I treated Sveti to some gelato. Her friend drove us in his car, but wouldn't take any money for gas (gas is super expensive here). The good heartedness of people here touches me everyday. My landlords fed me, let me use their internet, and had their son help me buy a router for wireless after he'd been up all night working at the bus station. They took me grocery shopping and got me a new television. I am blessed. I hope that my language will progress quickly so I can convey my gratitude and appreciation for/to them.

Ok, enough emotional ramblings. Here are some update pictures. Mostly of our swearing in ceremony and my new place. If you are my friend of Facebook, you've already seen them. If not, enjoy.

Down to the Last Week

I am finishing my last week of PST here in Bulgaria. What does that mean? Well, it means that I have to take a long verbal test on Tuesday, say goodbye to my family and friends in my town on Wednesday, go to Vratsa on Thurs, and then again on Friday for the graduation ceremony, and lastly, move to my permanent site. I am happy to be done. I can't lie. It's getting more difficult every day to follow rules that are in place for people much younger than myself. I find that I don't have as much patience now as I did 2 months ago. I am looking forward to some quiet alone time for the month of August. Maybe even some time at the local pool working on my tan.

My group went to Sophia on Friday to have out last interviews with the Peace Corps staff. How is everything going? Are you still able and willing to serve? Things like that. Sled Tova (after that), we toured Sophia a little. Our language trainer has a place here so we had a "local" tour guide. I must say, it's TOO BIG for me, and I come from a larger city. Sophia has 3 million and Mpls has 300,000. It doesn't compare. When Radi asked if it was like home, I couldn't explain the difference. It's too vast. Sophia reminds me of New York, in that it has so many people and shops, and advertisements. It's hard to move around in and confusing. I'm not sure I could travel there by myself. It was nice to get home to my town of 2,100.

Although things here are coming to an end, I am getting a little nervous to be on

my own. I still not confident buying food in a store. I don't know what the things are let alone how to cook them. But I guess that means I can be creative. Who will meet me for a beer or a soda at any given moment of the day? I know I have some B25's in town, but I need my B26's. I'm sure things will even out soon and I will be as busy as ever, but for now I am going to let these feelings roll around inside my head.

Yesterday, Kate, her host family and I went to the panorama near Pleven. It is a painting telling the war of 1877 between the Russians and the Turks. But if you ask

a Bulgarian, and we did, they will say that Russia

didn't liberate them. They fought and liberated themselves. The painting was painted in 1977 and put in a big concrete building. I thought it was amazing.

That's all for now. Next post will be from my permanent site. Yippee!!